Relax and let live

I'd love to relax here...

This month has been stressful at best, reason for a person to be committed at worse. Thankfully, no one has managed to commit me and my emotional breakdowns have not been large enough to totally take me out of service. In fact, my emotional breakdowns happen to coincide with the two days of the week that are reserved for relazing: the weekend. So, instead of hanging with friends, playing Xbox, going on dates with my husband, my time has been spent mindlessly sifting through pins on Pinterest or sleeping. Thankfully, Pinterest is enough to completely chill me out after five to ten minutes, but the lying in bed and sleeping/sulking/refusing to remove myself from the dent that my body has created in the bed needs to stop. And after a confusing, frustrating and emotional resurgence of my good friend, Depression, on Saturday, I knew something had to be done.
My husband says that I live as if I'm continually running from crisis to crisis, few of them my own. For the most part I'm in agreement, but I think of it as being in almost a constant fight or flight mode. No matter how we define it, this constant stress still makes me a complete wreck more often than not. Well, starting Sunday, which happened to be yesterday, I promised myself that I will try to take everything that happens in stride. Try to relax and live this life. There should be no reason that I need to spend hours on Pinterest just to calm down after a stressful day. To spend more time laughing and being with my husband and puppy. They make me smile the most. Most of all, though, accepting that we can not force our lives to take a certain route. Everything happens for a reason. St. Francis of Assisi said it best, "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Amen.

This makes me smile

So far, my attempts have not been fruitless. Despite running a bit late this morning, I just smiled, took a deep breath and just reminded myself that I would get to work shortly and that things would be okay. In fact, I managed to joke with my husband about the one thing that tends to set me off most, clothing. Or rather, my lack of cute clothing that fits. So far, it feels like I've accomplished so much by not freaking out, or even stressing about, the little things in life.
My husband is probably reading this and either nodding his head encouragingly, hoping that I'll keep it up or rolling his eyes, because I'm a neurotic crazy person. Or, more likely, both.

All I want for Christmas is...

The holidays are a time for family and being home. Unfortunately, home is a rather flexible term right now for our little family. We currently live with my husband's parents, who graciously took us in while we tried to get out feet under us. Six months later, we are still hopeful that my husband will find a job, but having so little space and not being able to start our lives is truly wearing on us. Right now, I'm writing this while my husband plays video games. Let's just say that it's hard to concentrate and write at the same time. But I don't want to ask him to turn it down or try to choose something that is more, well...silent, because this is our spot. The little area where we can be ourselves and pretend is home. For now.

So the one thing I want for Christmas is for my husband to get a job, so we can start making the home we've been dreaming of. I know he is trying his hardest and that the economy sucks so terribly bad, but please, if there is a god, please, let this happen for our family. I would be forever thankful and I know James, who is going stir crazy, would be thankful as well.