My life needs GPS so I can find it

Beautiful Seattle in the Morning

Sometimes a kick in the butt is all you need to realize you need to change yourself. I suppose my kick in the butt came yesterday. My husband has been trying to get a job that was pretty much tailor made for him. He'd been in for two in-person interviews and one phone interview. He was a finalist. And instead of choosing any of the finalists, they contracted out. It's been heartbreaking because I know my husband is angry. Angry at the company for not saying that was an option, at the general health of the world and nation's economy, at himself for not getting the job. And it's heartbreaking. Because none of it is his fault.

Marriage is a confusing thing. We all see our parents and their successes and utter failures. We assume what marriage will be like and once you're in it, you realize it's not at all what you imagined it would be. But you cope. And you try. You give everything of yourself to the marriage and to your significant other. And I know it's cheesy, but the saying "If you bleed, I bleed" couldn't be truer. And with that sentiment and disappointment, I have received a kick in the butt.

Today I woke up at five in the morning, a time that is unheard of, and managed to drag my sorry butt as well as my husband's cute butt out of bed and to the gym. I read somewhere that exercise will improve your mood and outlook on things. I hope it does. For him. For me. Because we're in this together. And if waking up at an ungodly hour is what it takes to help both of us through one of the worst economic disasters since the 1930's, I will do it everyday. 

I love my life. I love our opportunities. I love the family that has so kindly brought us into their homes and taken care of us. But most of all, I love my husband. And always will.